The New Schoolyear

Much has transpired since that last casual entry about back-updates. My favorite class has been invaded by my most difficult student and his kind, but loquacious-in-Japanese friend. I taught this new group for the first time today (it went much better than expected). Little-Girl has passed to the hands of the other new teacher and I miss her, and I have lost my non-dead-body junior high girls. I have received and then unreceived numerous students in my new schedule and seen much confusion in the past few days. Varying skill levels and degrees of progress through material have to be reconciled, student behavioral patterns have to be balanced, and histories of old students have to be passed to their new teachers. The other teachers also have their yearly student evaluations to hand in at this time; but, as I have only been teaching for two weeks, the other new teacher and I are exempt from this added excitement. So we just try to settle our apartments a little bit. The other new teacher has been in his apartment since late January so he already has his act together, except for decorations and the like.

Speaking of which, the teacher who doesn’t speak any Japanese got a lava lamp from P-t’s fiance, so no need for a trip to Loft. I did show him the cheaper home goods store last weekend, though, and we were first exposed to the wondrous delights of affordable furniture and house-necessities. I didn’t buy very much, though. Trying to stick to a budget, into which big house expenses are not incorporated just yet. I just want to get my apartment in sufficiently acceptable condition for having and feeding guests, even if it takes longer to really make it nice and my own. I don’t plan to spend on long-term stuff until I get my first paycheck, next weekend. The money I came with is for things like food, detergent, and basic socializing, and if there’s extra, it goes either towards debt or my trip back to the States (whenever that is!).

I asked my boss about my job performance so far; his main tips were to be more genki (again. I’m starting to tune that one out at this point because I have grown rapidly and progressively more genki with each class since the end of training and I plan on continuing to do so) and to be aware of what the students are doing at all times–apparently I am turning my back on them from time to time. That’s no good–I have to make sure they’re engaged at all times. Also, I hear through the grapevine (mothers telling the Japanese staff) that the children are afraid of me. That may be bad from my boss’ perspective, but from where I’m sitting, it’s a good thing. Let them learn to respect the rules of the classroom a little bit and realize that I require a certain level of maturity of my students. How else are they going to learn? It’s not like I tell them never to joke or have any fun. I just don’t encourage disruptive nonsense. What I have slowly been learning, though, is to be more fun when I’m not trying to be scary. I was never a big, physically outgoing, really genki type–my warmth is of the more subtle kind–and that really doesn’t fly with people who don’t understand your language! Energetic body language helps with overall relations and with discipline; if you’re fun the rest of the time they know to take you seriously when you look displeased.

More than any of that, though, the big challenge for me is enforcing time. I’ve gotten to a point where I can manage myself and cover ground within the allotted frame, but getting adult students and mothers of children out of the classroom is a huge challenge for me. I feel rude and am concerned about making them feel uncomfortable, but they have to be pushed out, because someone needs the classroom next, and it’s important to maintain consistency in what customers get from us. So it’s good that I’m building relationships with the parents (I mean…I don’t always know who is whose mother, but I still feel comfortable with all of them regardless. Well almost all of them), and that the adult students are all friendly and comfortable with one another, but the schedule must still be adhered to.

[Two and a half weeks ago I had an incident with one of my little snot-noses; he essentially wouldn't do anything (and he was a solo student till now) and started crying and moping, citing my skin color as the source of his crap participation (P-t was white with pretty strawberry-blond hair). Clearly he was just grasping at straws because he wasn't in the mood to learn that day and he missed his old teacher, and so he decided to be an idiot and say something stupid like that. For toast's sake, he's darker than I am--and he never showers! But I still found it somewhat worrisome.]

My rude seven-year-old’s mother apparently found out what he said to me and set him straight, telling him the world is full of all kinds of people and that, since you don’t often get to see that in Japan, he should consider himself lucky.  She apologized to me for his overall difficult-ness but I think she was too embarrassed to bring up the other matter to my face. She told the administrator-girl. This week he was a little better but still a bit whiney. I let him slide a wee bit just to ease him back into class mode, but I told him I expect full cooperation next week. Well, I told him in Japanese that if he keeps complaining about boredom next week I won’t give him his cracker–that’s about the same message, right? He’s a smart kid, but he’s always complaining and whining in class. P-t had told me as much during training, so I’m emotionally steeled to it. I don’t know anything about the new kid joining in on Tuesday. Maybe that will fill out the class a bit and improve the dynamic.

 Rock climbing last weekend was amazing! We went to a gym and I did the first few beginner levels. I’m telling you, I loved it so much. I cannot wait to go back this weekend. I feel young again–reminds me of all those years of climbing our various houses/apartment buildings, the trees around us, compound walls near our school, the attic above my bathroom…all of it. Monkey Seepita will rise again! Ah, no better way to feel alive, and to get some much-needed exercise. It seems so tricky, though, thinking about the direction in which to face one’s body, lean one’s weight and approach the next…thing. Grip? handle? I don’t know. Adult-student was kind of talking me through it the whole time. It will be challenging when such is no longer the case. By the way, those shoes are mortifyingly painful. They’re designed to keep your toes bent all the way in to prevent injuries and tripping, and it is excruciating. I had to take them off every time I finished a little climb. I’ll never make it at a real place (mountain/cliff/whatever) at this rate. Hopefully I’ll get used to it. So much to learn, so much stamina to build…And I can’t expect that Adult-Student will be there to watch and offer guidance every time in the future!

More rock-climbing Sunday morning! Sunday afternoon I am cooking Indian food with other-new-teacher-who-can’t-speak-Japanese and administrator-girl-who-loves-to-bake-and-cook. and-eat. Saturday I might be meeting Tuesday-adult-students for a movie or perhaps a trip to the city art museum (the Hermitage Impressionist Collection is on display till Sunday), after changing some money of course! And then in the evening I will make some of the preparations for cooking and try to render my apartment at least somewhat acceptable for visitors. Even a bachelor would call it pathetic at this point.

Last weekend I went downtown to meet Friday-adult-student at one of the big department stores (Mitsukoshi) where her friend had a doll exhibition. This lady makes exquisitely beautiful handmade dolls from start to finish; so spirited, so amazing! She does everything–from painting their faces (very detailed and lifelike) to dyeing their hair (silk thread) to stitching their kimono, putting together the moving body parts, and accessorizing. She has to know about all of these parts of the process, as well as the history of doll-making, and the local and foreign traditions that she incorporates. She does such an amazing job! It was absolutely beautiful. She said she’s a fan of a singer from New Jersey (but wouldn’t tell me who, because she was embarrassed. She says it’s not Bon Jovi or Springsteen) and wants her son to do his post-doctorate in the States so she can find this singer and go to a concert. From there we went to Nagoya-Eki, had a snack at a cafe and talked about her husband’s experience in Minnesota in the sixties (remarkable) and then went to Takashimaya for the Grace Kelly exhibit. Friday-Adult-Student had two invitations to the exhibit and saved one for me. The exhibit was very interesting. She was a very elegant and poised woman. I enjoyed the pictures, and especially loved her pressed flower pieces. Very nicely and interestingly composed.

In the evening we went climbing and then other-new-teacher and I got dinner. The rest of the weekend consisted of me being translator at dinner and then watching movies. I went to a sushi-ya for the first time! It was a lot of fun. At first it was really awkward because everyone just stared at us (I think the six of us on staff and the two odd men from Turkey that you always run into at Sugiyama are the only foreigners in Midori-ku, and none of the staff have gone there from what I hear) but eventually things got more comfortable and the same people who were staring at us also wanted to be helpful and friendly in whatever way they could. It was fun. I might go again some time. Perhaps.

On Tuesday I had lunch with my Tuesday-adult-students during my one-hour break. We had a great time. They are really nice and lively and I enjoy spending time with them. I will be seeing them again this weekend, I think, and of course in class on Tuesday.

Much of the settling-in process is contingent on me getting my gaijin card (foreigner’s id)–internet, driver’s license (to drive boss’ car to the other school), probably library membership (I hear there’s a public library in Tsurumai), phone line…so I’m looking forward to getting that. It was ready last Thursday but my boss hasn’t had time to take me over there. Perhaps this coming week. In the meantime, cleaning and cooking and budgeting for me….

Back-Updates

Yes I do know that they are long overdue. Well, I guess the only things I can remember to talk about now are the izakaya we like to go to (Minoji, on Tokushige about twenty minutes’ walk away) and the aquarium trip. What I like about going to Minoji is that our adult students sometimes come too, and you get to see them and the other teachers in a comfortable and non-professional setting. It’s nice to see the real side of the people you work and often semi-live with. It’s also great that we all share everything we order; I always miss that about Japan when I go out to eat in the States. Nobody there ever wants any of my food; except, of course, my sister. At least she shares comfortably with me. The food is great and affordable, the atmosphere is cozy and down to earth, and it’s not too overly far from the school or our apartments, although a twenty minute walk can seem formidable when it’s cold.

The local karaoke place is fun but there’s not that wide a variety of music. Still, we had a great time, letting loose and howling our lungs out for no particular reason:P One of our students who goes rock climbing with P-t and her fiance is going to teach me how, next weekend. I’m really looking forward to it.

Last Saturday was the housewarming party at my boss and his wife’s apartment. It was a lot of fun; their place is small but really nice. It’s about a forty minute walk from our apartment. My boss’ wife had made separate food for me and the other vegetarian teacher, and it was absolutely delicious. I really filled up on it. That’s when I found out that she likes French and Italian food. Apparently the next weekend my boss took her to Nagoya’s little-Italy and she was so unimpressed that she didn’t even know she’d been there. So that’s out! Perhaps I should ask about more cuisines.

The day after the housewarming party, a few of us set out early in the morning (well, 9 am is early enough for a Sunday) for Nagoya Port, to see the public aquarium. We left pretty early in the morning. One of the school’s friends brought his little daughter along as well. She was adorable. Very quiet, always smiling, spoke in a very earnest and matter-of-fact way to her father and just looked at the rest of us (but not meanly, just in a calmly shy manner). You wouldn’t even know she was talking if you weren’t looking at her face and seeing her lips moving. (not that I think all kids should be very quiet or anything…I just appreciate an earnest child). It was kind of expensive to get in, and because of the national holiday all the fathers who had the next day off had brought their children to the aquarium. It was crowded to the point of being inconceivable. Clearly we didn’t really get to enjoy it all that much. But we did see a dolphin show and lots of penguins. Since our friend’s daughter had fallen asleep by the penguin point, I got her a little penguin toy from the museum gift shop later on. She looked at me very seriously as if not knowing what to do and only managed to whisper out a thank you when prompted by her father (she was rather stunned). What I didn’t know is that the penguin was a squeaky toy. I would never do that to someone—give their child a toy that makes noise—knowingly. Apparently she’s been going everywhere with the penguin, squeaking it to high heaven and back. She holds it close to her and even rubs it in her sister’s face that she has one and her sister doesn’t (her sister didn’t come to the aquarium that day)! Thankfully her father seems more amused than anything else, so I’m glad. It’s really cute, especially knowing how good and shy she was in front of me, that she’s taunting her sister at home!

After the aquarium we went to Sakae (downtown hub district) and met up with a few of the other teachers coming from church. We had lunch at this great Indonesian place in the mall called Putri, did some shopping, and starting going home one by one. I got some running shoes for a very reasonable price, and I intend to start running within the next ten days. Have to give myself a little time to settle first. I got a chance to talk with the girl who handles all the administrative work at the school (she does everything!) and that was really nice. I enjoyed it. I like her attitude towards life and her personality. And I got to see where the Loft is (store that’s like Bed Bath and Beyond but better! and you know how I love Bed Bath and Beyond). I have to take the other new teacher, who doesn’t read or speak Japanese, there to get a lava lamp one of these days.

After our weekend on the town began my second week of training, which I managed to get through with overall approval from my P-t and the Head Teacher. On Saturday before P-t and fiance’s Farewell party I went back to Sakae to look around a bit and change some money (I was down to 4000 en, which is a little less than $40). This time, at least, I held on to my day pass all through my errands. I managed to spend about forty five minutes looking for the correct branch of this bank and I wasn’t sure what time it closed, so it was a nice and suspenseful little trip. I had forgotten my umbrella (soon to become a trend for the day) and the rain was really cold, so in addition to running around downtown Nagoya looking like a crazy lady, all wet, muddling about from pillar to post visibly confused about her way and yet in a huge hurry, I froze my patootie off as well. And you may laugh all you want, but I defy any of you to know your way around a Japanese city in the first month, especially a place you’ve never been to! I eventually got my money. I also took a look at the bookstore and Indian restaurant that I wanted to see, and bought some more little things to put in the farewell present for P-t and fiance. However, I didn’t really explore as I would have liked to because of the weather. I really want to check out that salsa club the guy on the train told me about (a man on the bus helped me find the subway station and was chatting with me on the train. He’s been from Portland, Oregon down to Mexico and he likes salsa dancing. Very kind and polite). I’m sure I can get someone to go along.

Upon coming home I made myself some dinner (stuffed okra!) which I didn’t eat until five thirty the next morning, got ready for the farewell party and headed out with Head Teacher and husband. The party was at this small local bar called Wendy; apparently the school often has parties there so they know us well and like us. The atmosphere was very nice–warm and comfortable, and I met lots of people. I’m starting to feel like part of a family, and that’s really nice. I will really miss P-t and her fiance, especially P-t  since I spent far more time with her and my perception of the entire school is kind of based on her presence. Still, they’re off to new and exciting things and so am I, I suppose. I discovered that one of our part-timers (administrative) loves Indian food and loves to cook and bake! So we will be making plenty of deliciousness in the kitchen once I have a place of my own. I can’t wait! And she said she knows of a really nice dentist she might take me to, since I want to have my teeth cleaned and am apprehensive about medical care here. I met so many people! It was so much fun. There were times when I almost forgot that it was a farewell party and not some random get-to-know-you event. But it’s better that way; why be mopey throughout their last hoorah?

I eventually extricated myself from the party between four thirty and five in the morning (and I wasn’t the last to leave), along with another teacher. Again, I didn’t have my umbrella since that was the trend for the day, so the walk home was a challenge, between being cold and rained on and repeatedly getting my hair caught in the other teacher’s umbrella. We eventually made it home between five and five thirty in the morning, at which point I exchanged my wet clothes for dry ones, wrapped my towel around my head, and sat down to my stuffed okra. mmmmmm^_^ good. too bad I didn’t make more.

P-T’s Last Days

The last week has not only been very sad with all the tearful farewells at the end of every lesson (this is my predecessor-teacher’s last week; she finishes tomorrow), but also kind of awe-inspiring. I don’t just feel the same sadness that the parents and the kids feel to see her go; I also see what an amazing person she must be to have such an effect on people she sees for less than an hour a week. I joke with her that she and her fiance will need an extra suitcase to take back all the presents people have given them; they might even need two. I wish our time here had overlapped a bit longer than the duration of my training; then I could help out with all of the moving insanity, and do something nice for her (them) to convey my appreciation. I wonder if they know all of that sappy-but-sincerely-meant stuff already.

I was hoping to do a great job in my last day of training and really make things easy for her that way (it’s really annoying to have a trainee. Although….it does mean no lesson planning for a week…) but I couldn’t quite make it. I was late to work this morning (got there fifteen minutes before class, which is a disaster, especially for the baby classes, which I was teaching this morning) and she had to help me prepare my classroom and get me missing materials and the like. The one thing you never, ever do, especially at this job! (well, of course there are alwyas worse things out there, but being late is definitely not acceptable) And, of course, I didn’t exactly do a stellar job with the class when I had ten minutes to prepare the room. So she had to figure out a nice way to tell me I sucked, too. But I did manage to salvage the rest of the day; I think she was pretty happy with all of the other classes. Still…what a terrible start to the last day of training!

P-t usually receives many farewell letters from the students along with the presents from the mothers. One of the girls in the baby class (she is sooooooooooo cute. don’t even get me started) and her older brother (a really good kid) both have P-t (and now me) on Fridays. After the brother’s class all of the students and parents (and Little-girl) were gathered to give farewell presents to P-t and take pictures with her. Little-girl (she’s two, maybe three years old) was holding a folded piece of paper and looking up at all of the grownups very agitatedly. Her mother had made P-t a bead keychain of the two kids, with odango-buns and all (when a girl has her hair up in two buns it’s called odango, dumpling hair basically. This little cutie is always sporting said hairdo. But she’s not cutesy at all–she’s genuinely and legitimately adorable. The hair is just incidental, not a contributing factor. Still, the keychain was quite special, in its level of detail).  P-t marveled (ll? l?) at the likeness; Little-girl’s face remained ever serious. She was just so focused on something (something very grave, clearly) that she simply couldn’t register anything from the outside. As the other parents gave P-t presents, talked to her, and stood for a picture, Little-girl grew increasingly concerned, her perpetually-raised little eyebrows and upturned face slowly rising higher and turning further upward. Finally, her older brother gave P-t a letter, which she read (Thank you for everything, all the best in your marriage, be well, farewell matters…). For a fleeting instant, Little-girl’s expression softened, then re-earnestified, until she finally just erupted in her tiny voice “atashi mo ageru yo!” (i’m going to give something too!), and handed P-t the folded up piece of paper very seriously and eagerly. As P-t was slowly opening it up and asking ”What is it?” (that’s one of the most useful questions with the baby students), little girl kept repeatedly chattering, “Mama, ageta yo atashi. Mama, atashi ageta, sensei ni!” (Mommy, I gave it to her, etc), so incredibly excited and keen on proper documentation of her important task. P-t opened it up; it was a blank, folded-up, creased, wrinkled little piece of paper, that Little-girl had been eagerly holding for at least an hour, just waiting to give it to her, before waiting again for all of the grownups and big kids to finish their chatter! I probably grinned for a good half-hour when I got up to the teachers’ room. How incredibly sweet!

Okay, just had to put in a more light-hearted story since the whole P-t leaving thing is actually quite sad. More in the future perhaps. I realize I’m still behind on covering my adventures, but there simply isn’t time. Perhaps once I get settled in. Till then, happy Sivaratri/mid-February/Presidents’ Day to you all.

 -Seepita.

Training

I am currently undergoing the second of two weeks of training. Last week was primarily introductions, tons of information, new materials, and observation. I also collaborated in lesson planning with my predecessor-teacher (hereafter p-t, getting sick of typing that out) and taught parts of lessons. People kept telling me that would be the hard part because I’d be teaching from somebody else’s plan; but in truth it was much easier. I didn’t know the students’ strengths and the plan wasn’t my own, but your teaching instincts can pull you through that for a portion of a lesson. Moreover, my p-t had included me in the planning process and talked to me about the classes quite extensively. For an entire lesson, on the other hand, no such luck. I still don’t know these kids/teens/adults for whom I am picking up at the end of the schoolyear, and I have to keep the pace up and make sure every single word I say has an instructive purpose for the full duration of the lesson. That’s very hard when you’re teaching people who don’t hear the English language in any other context, and you don’t know what all they’ve been taught so far. Planning the lessons takes a while too, but it’s fun. It’s only time-consuming because of lack of familiarity with materials and not knowing (down to the t) what the students have been taught. I get varying levels of support and criticism from different teachers, but so far everything has been constructive or constructively motivated. So training is, indeed, pushing me quite a bit. P-t tells me it’s the hardest period of working at the school, so I’m going to try and learn as much as I can before it’s over. I have been told that I’m steadily improving, which is good, and that–combined with the useful and detailed criticism–helps me keep it going. The main challenge this week has been in implementing my lesson plans (I’m good at planning lessons, but not necessarily as good at teaching them–how shockingly unlike me). The Head Teacher and my P-t have given me lots of helpful suggestions and feedback, though, and it gets a little better each time. They watch me from a monitor outside the room (there are cameras in the downstairs rooms for parents to watch. Comes in handy for training purposes) so as not to distract the students in the class. Last week they would stay in the classroom with me. I think I have the classroom-prep and projecting confidence aspects down pretty well now. I just have to work on looking more consistently genki and managing class time more effectively. I have a tendency to go over and to miss parts of the lesson as a result. But I think, as I get to know my students better, I will be better with that. Also, I am putting my watch on the table (instead of wearing it) during lessons, as Head Teacher suggested, and it’s working well so far.

The kids are so painfully adorable, I don’t know how to convey to you the extent of their cuteness. Many of them are little bastards, so they have to be managed in the classroom, but a little challenge is good for me. I really like the adult students and high school students as well. It’s nice with them because you can converse. As for junior high kids…they are so exhausted with juku and exams by the time they get  here that it’s all I can do to keep them conscious through class. So, not as much excitement there. But I am learning how to engage them. Perhaps in the future I will include one good story per age group. Now, no time. Many lessons to plan, lots of syllabus to learn, much settling in to do.

I really love my p-t, and I like her fiance very much as well. I’m so sad that they have to leave. Of course, it’s kind of natural, as I am her replacement after all! But I wish it didn’t have to be that way. I will really miss them when they go. Only a few more days left…

More on training and work and class stories later.

-Seepita.

PS. How training works: A few days of observing different classes. A few days of part-teaching. A few days of part-planning and part-teaching with observation and feedback from Head Teacher and other teachers. A week of fully planning and teaching, with more observation and feedback (from outside room). Next week; no p-t! I become a teacher.

About that Nearest Hyaku-en Store…

Well, it sucked. I’m spoiled, of course, because I’ve been to better ones in Japan–mind you, this store was still eighty times better than a dollar store. Nearly anything one buys at a hyaku-en store, no matter the crappiness or non-crappiness of the selection, is fairly reliable, durable and of pretty good quality. But since selection was indeed limited and tastes were somewhat meh, I was disappointed. I was shown a much better one the next day, another branch of good old Daiso. How fortuitous that they’re in Nagoya too!

On my walk around town that day (crappy-100-en-store day) I noticed a curious duality between sterile concrete and rather-sterile plant cultivation around the neighborhood. I don’t know if it’s just because of the winter and the nearby construction, but I somehow feel as if everything in Nagoya is utilitarian and highly-practical to a fault. I really ought to wait till Spring to judge; this is just a first impression. I didn’t see the flowers and plants in every shop and every house that thrilled me every day in Kobe. But again, it is Winter. I also noticed one lonely traditional-style house (rather large, I might add) in the midst of all the new modern semi-Brutalist constructions all over the neighborhood. I couldn’t figure out if the house was old or new; on the one hand such a big plot of land and a pretty big house would indicate old, but on the other, it didn’t seem to have had a chance to weather at all. I want to go back and take a look and take pictures if I can. I felt conspicuous walking around town that day, so I moseyed along. For some reason I always tend to think of India when I’m in Japan, and I can’t help wondering if Bangalore was somewhat like this as well. When I’m there I always notice the noise, the traffic, the vendors, the birds and the flowers…all the obvious stuff. But I would think Bangalore would be similar in this respect. I should tap my memory some time–haven’t really had the opportunity for such leisurely activities just yet.

On Sunday (the glorious-100-en-store day) I slept in and then went out with two other teachers, one of whom I’m replacing. We first went to the old Noritake Museum. Noritake was the first Japanese porcelain company to export internationally, and they’re known for blending Western and Japanese motifs. The old factory is in downtown Nagoya and they have a gallery as well. There’s a gift shop (of course) and a “garden” on the premises. Again, depressing as could be, but I should keep in mind that it is winter, despite the mild temperatures. Perhaps I’ll go back in the spring to confirm or dispel my dissatisfaction. One of the teachers wanted to buy a Frank-Lloyd-Wright style plate for her friends who are…having a baby or getting married or something big and exciting like that. She had bought them another piece of the set years ago and wanted to continue the collection. So we went. I have to say, the gallery was by far the most fascinating part of the experience. In the museum you can see how they make the porcelain in the factory and there’s a Crafts floor where people go to glaze things themselves, but the real inspiration was in the gallery. We got to speak to the people who made the pottery and they explained their process and the story of each piece. It was amazing. They made their own kiln and everything! It was really something else. And the old desire to learn pottery came bubbling back up. I think two of us and one of the girls that works as an administrator at the school are going to look for a place to take lessons. I’m also trying to get my boss’ wife to do things with us too, since she’s from Tokyo and doesn’t know Nagoya at all (they just got married at the end of 2006), but she doesn’t seem very keen on the pottery idea. I think restaurants and shopping will have to be the game with her. She’s really good at those things. She always looks absolutely amazing, even in jeans at home, and she cooks delicious food. It’s just that I hate shopping about 90% of the time, and it’ll be hard when she doesn’t share interests like hiking, pottery, running, whatever else. I think Italian food (and, of course, Italia-mura down at the port) will be my next strategy (she likes French and Italian and I’m not really a French food fan. Compromise…).

From Noritake we went to the nearest train station/shopping mall to find something to eat. After about half an hour of walking through the dizzying but sometimes expensive and usually meaty options, and another twenty minutes of trying to politely extricate ourselves from a really chatty old guy, we settled for a food-court-like establishment in which we could get salad or omuraisu as we pleased (yes, I sometimes eat eggs and cheese when I go out in Japan. It’s surprising enough to people that I don’t meat and fish–people will want to smack me upside the head if I make it any more difficult. And since all of the salad had chicken and tuna in it, which is more than I could ever stomach, I went for the eggs and rice. I used to love eggs. Still do, when I eat them). As is typical of Japan, even this foodcourt had waited tables and people to seat us. It was interesting. I was so grateful at that moment that I’ll have my own kitchen in which I can cook according to my own restrictions most of the time. I don’t mind adjusting to my surroundings, but I still wouldn’t want to always be eating eggs and cheese.

From Nagoya-Eki (JR’s Nagoya Station, where the giant mall was. Not that there’s any dearth of malls elsewhere in the city, good God) we went over to Sakae, which is one of the more happening districts downtown. This basically means even more shopping and multitudes of young people immaculately dressed in haute-couture of all kinds. I’m trying to remember if it was here or at Nagoya-Eki that we stopped at Daiso; but wherever it was, I definitely plan on going back when I have to set up my apartment. Thass-right! 100-en housewares and you know it! We walked around the rest of the mall (malls here are very interesting, by the way), went to a Starbucks, and then!–got a wedding necklace for the teacher I’m replacing. It was in one of those stores whre you go in and wait for a while and they bring you drinks and then show you things for hours and attend to you and you speak in hushed voices all the time. Kind of like Laxmi Silks, but…not in Majestic and far more relaxing:P. (Majestic is a really crowded old commercial district in Bangalore. That store sold amazing saris. And ugly ones too). She got a beautiful twisted-pearl necklace (which, oddly, is exactly what I thought we were going for though she never said it till we got to the store), which will go really well with her dress (which is not a conventional wedding gown). All in all, very exciting! The necklace will be shipped to her the day before she leaves for home. Close call…And from there, if I recall correctly, we came back home.

The first week of training has been overwhelming, in good and neutral ways. So many people and so much information to absorb, process, and implement with such a short adjustment period! Lots to write about there, but if I don’t post this at some point there’s no point in writing it. So here it is, the story of one weekend in my life:P

-Seepita-

Arribada

No, I am not thousands of pregnant sea turtles or their freshly hatched babies on a Costa Rican shore. But I have arrived in Nagoya. The trip was blissfully uneventful, this being the first time I’ve been seated next to children and not had a hellish flight. Two cute little girls. We didn’t get to talk much because they spoke a Filipino language that I don’t know, and were somewhat shy, but they shared my grapes and my crackers and, as you know, I approve of most anyone who will partake in my food. They slept for most of the journey, but were quiet even when they were awake. And that was good. Detroit Wayne Airport was actually quite nice, as well. Trees and fountains, nice open structure…I could hear birds but I didn’t see them. Terminal concourse went on forEVER, though. Don’t know what I ought to think as an architecture major (didn’t realy investigate or think too much about what I did see), but it was pleasant to be there and that’s all I was really concerned with at the time!

I like my boss and his girlfriend/wife (?) and all of the other teachers. The fact that the teachers are comfortable with the boss makes me happy. The teacher I’m replacing and her fiance had us all for dinner last night and we had a good time. They are good cooks. We went from ridiculous topics of conversation to taping our noses up so they would look like snouts and taking pictures (the tape isn’t supposed to show in the picture, but since it was glossy tape, it did). And it looks like our next field trip for the kids might be strawberry-picking! (if we can manage it expense-wise). Some time soon we (not kids, just grownups) may have a Family-Guy extravaganza (whee!) and a hike in Gifu, for which I will need to procure either my running shoes from home or a new pair.

The Head Teacher and her husband are very nice hosts and I enjoy staying with them. They will be here until April; I will be staying with them until the 21st. I start training on Monday, shadowing my predecessor-teacher everywhere. While I had previously thought I was a Tuesday-Saturday and would have Sundays and Mondays off, my Monday-Friday situation is not that bad since I have the afternoon shift on Mondays and the morning shift on Fridays.

Midori-ku is like a pedestrian-friendly suburban ward of a big city, so it’ll be somewhat like living in Charlottesville I suppose. I have yet to walk around the neighborhood myself; I’m about to go do that now. First stop: nearest hyaku-en store! heeheeheehee.

The Day Before

I leave in the pre-godly hours tomorrow morning (5:30 am might not be all that early to the average person, but to me that was bedtime not too long ago) for Japan, and the feelings of sadness and reluctance to leave are finally here. I’m lucky that it’s so late in the game, when there’s so much to take care of that I can’t think about it too much. Somehow I feel like I am permanently letting go of a whole phase of my life, very abruptly, by picking up and going–although none of this was abrupt at all. Saying goodbye to the bunnies and birds, who really bonded with me over the last six months, and leaving the apartment this afternoon was quite difficult.

But I am still very excited for the year ahead. It is high time I was forced to be alone, with nobody else to go running to. I will really miss all of the people and pets that have warmed my existence here; but I will keep in touch, and see you all next year.

Happy February!

No Events Here, Just Thoughts

It’s amazing how quickly one’s state of mind can transform and fluctuate; I wonder if it’s a function of this stage in life or if there will always be sudden self-perception-altering mutations such as these (when I say it that way it sounds bad; I actually think it’s interesting and exciting). Talking to close friends and thinking about it recently has made me realize just how remarkable it really is; even the change in thoughts and experiences that one takes for granted. What these reflect about a person, after all, is significant.

I’ve gone from wanting to travel the world after college, to looking for relatively local jobs that would feed straight into being prepared for grad school (how foolish! As if living half an hour from my parents with my older sister, working in the state in which I’ve spent most of my life, doing a college-related job just after finishing college, is going to help me experience the real world before graduate study!), to wanting a little bit of both, in a matter of a few months. I don’t think I am clinging to a security blanket by finding a job that utilizes my working skills in a straightforward manner, in a country that I’ve already studied and visited. Perhaps this is because I still think there will be many challenges and things to be learned in the year ahead. Having teaching experience while still a full-time student, and actually being on staff, are two very different things. It will be good to go back, and “finish what I started” for once, after a series of tried and abandoned interests and pursuits. Finally, I expect living alone to be the most enlightening part of this trip, and the further from the nest I go, the lower the risk of security-blanketing! And as for next year…I have, as usual, a whole dream of what I want to be doing and little concrete understanding of how I plan to make it happen, but I’m not too worried. It isn’t time to deal with that just yet. I will make it happen when the time comes.

I’m very much looking forward to this upcoming year. Its meaning for me has undergone so many revisions in the past few weeks that I’m ready to live it and see what I really make of it. As the preparations continue and the date draws near, it becomes increasingly palpable and the excitement mounts. This is the first time in my life not only that I feel this free, but also that my life feels real, of consequence. Being accountable primarily to myself and having to rely mainly on myself feels so liberating now precisely because it gives everything that immediacy that was lacking in my life all this time. There’s a sense of inner deadness and distance from the surrounding world that I’ve always had to fight, even in the midst of all my interest and passion for life. My perception of the world is that reality itself is a very convincing movie; I am a character to myself in many ways. And there are things about this that I actually do like, especially since I have never deceived others any more than I have myself, and I tend to want more to find happy endings and beautiful pieces in everything I see and experience. But the time has come to penetrate that filmy layer separating me from the world; not necessarily shred it to bits, but certainly know how to transcend it/put it aside and really be in my life when necessary. It’s not enough just to be as fair as one can to everyone else; without accountability to oneself and appreciation of one’s own identity and character, just being fair to others constitutes forming one’s life around them and allowing them to determine who one really is. And after all the cycles of doubt and various little things I’ve learned along the way since first agreeing to take this job, I believe this year of independence will lend great impetus in sorting out who I am, whom I’m becoming, and what I can do.

Not even three full weeks ago I was seriously concerned that this trip had become about escaping my own loneliness. The fact that I could be surrounded by people and living beings I love who love me back, about to embark on an amazing journey and already engaged in activities I greatly enjoy and find productive, and still feel a void, was unsettling. It made me wonder whether I was just going away so that I wouldn’t have to deal with that strange contradiction and the incredibly-short personal shortcoming from which it must have sprung forth. I must be veiling my desire to escape to a place where I should be lonely anyway, in those excuses (valid excuses, I need to grow up) of learning to be independent. The emptiness made it clear that, emotionally, I still wasn’t trying to be independent, at least not successfully–the emptiness itself was my desire for ideal companionship, my subconscious reaching out in hopes that somebody would grab on. Now it seems so beautifully simple that all I had to do was let the void go, after what seemed like ages of questioning and emotional turmoil (ie drama, to anyone else). Now I realize that, although much of all this was probably brewing subconsciously for a long time, that whole thought process and defining conclusion as I knew them probably took a grand total of three days, at most. And in many ways I neglected the value of that realization and the effect it has had on me, until somebody else pointed out how different I suddenly seem to be. For so many years I’ve known all of this; the importance of knowing oneself and recognizing that every day of life is real, that self-awareness should come before the inclinations of the people in one’s life (not to the point of outright selfishness, of course, but I think the reader knows the distinction between self-knowledge and selfishness). This is the first time that I feel it. So I know that from now on I’m going to live it.

Finally, my life isn’t about what anybody else thinks of me or how to accommodate everybody else’s needs into my life and my entire consciousness, it isn’t about focusing on not letting others affect me (in whichever direction) to the point where I’m living for others just by trying not to and I don’t even know it, and it isn’t about defining myself by my relationships with other people. I love the people in my life, very much–now I feel like my relationships with all of them are healthy. And this comes from truly being happy about myself for the first time.

Yeah, I’m ready.

Clarification

Just so you all know, there will be plenty of postings in which I just narrate events and possibly my thoughts about them, their only probable significance being that they were part of my life and you are presumably close enough to me to care.

Creating a profound art piece or the most philosophically stimulating reading you’ve ever seen is not my primary intention. I’m sure the blog will be exciting enough just as it is, as I write it.

Also, I neglected to include the url for the galleries in the last posting:

www.oneblackrose.org/samhitha

(Thank you, Jamie!)

You can navigate to the galleries from there; there are a few new pieces, and I’ve added some things/cleaned things up a bit. The differences are fairly subtle, but if you feel like indulging me…

Enjoy!

Greetings

Happy New Year!

Well, with the new year and the upcoming job in another country, it is finally time to jump on the weblogging bandwagon.

Seepita is one of my numerous nicknames, as some of you may know.

As I’ve been more introspective lately than generally interesting, I will spare you all a full-fledged post until I have something worth reading to say. But there have been updates on the Galleries site, if you feel like it you can go look.

Happy January!

-Seepita-